Condoms or Conduct? PART IV

(Commentator)
May I put my word to this debate. first I will react to some statements you have made.
1. You say the church has failed to address the question of how to conduct our selves in relationships. I think the biggest problem I have with that is that pipo who use that arguement are saying that they engage in pre-marital sex becoz they are not told clear cut guide lines by the church. That is irresponsible and foolish to say the least becoz, the church teaches what is in the bible and if we do what the bible says we will be saved, so i don't agree with the blame game. Everyone will be answerable to God and there will not be an excuse that the church is to blame for sexual immorality. Leg managemnet and self control(temperance) is the key. <( if you have two keep them together and if you have three keep one untill you are married)> this is consistent with bible wheither the church teaches this or not. The other thing is that we must also be involved in our lives and not wait for someone to just come and read out set rules of do's and don'ts, we must work together with the church becoz the youth consitiute the large part of the church so if we isolate ourselves from the church then we are in trouble.
On conduct the bible say's youth enjoy your youth and do mightly what you what your hands find to do, but remember all things will be brought to judgement. That must be the guide to conduct.

(Phil's Response)
Paul encourages fellowship in Hebrews 10:25 saying, " not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as is the manner of some, but exhorting one another, and so much the more as you see the Day approaching." It is clear from this text that Christian fellowship plays an important role in preparing us for Christ's second advent. Even though salvation is personal, we are told to "exhort one another". The Church is one platform where this "exhorting" takes place. No one can deny from this text that the Church (from its eldership, deaconship, lay and personal activities) plays an influential role in preparing souls for Christ's soon coming. And therefore, as much as we must each individually know and understand the righteous way, the Church (through its programs, teachings and activities) will guide us thereof.

(Commentator)
2.You said paul say's the only option to avoid "burning with passion" to get married. I tend to think that is malicious especially on the man of God. You seem to suggest to the youth that marriage is an escape to "burn with passion." I beg to differ and state here that paul is one of the post christ teachers who upheld and respected marriage and to just restrict marriage to only a sexual arrangment like you are putting it is unacceptable. Marriage is not an escape or relief valve to sexual pressure, it must be a Holy union of two pipo who will then show the character and image of Godthrough their interection, so please marriage in much much more than sex.

(Phil's Response)
I agree with you that marriage is much more than sex. But from the context of 1 Cor 7, it sounds to me like Paul has restricted marriage to only a sexual arrangement or rather as a result of "burning out of passion" or "behaving oneself uncomely toward one's virgin". In 1 Cor 7:33, 34 he says, "But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please [his] wife. There is difference [also] between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please [her] husband." And then he concludes in 1 Cor 7:38 that "So then he that giveth [her] in marriage doeth well; but he that giveth [her] not in marriage doeth better."

(Commentator)
Now coming to the issue of condom use, as a mode of contraception, and reduction of re-infection between married pipo with HIV and other STI's, condoms are another mode to help mitigate the after effects if pipo did not use them.So the married, and have health or family planing issues pliz if it is convinient use the condom.
You and me must know and condoms and other reprodcutive health issues becoz as we grow, our biological make up changes and hormones run around the body such that we want explanations to that, and so we must get the explanation by education.
<>
what would you say to some one who say's, christians(SDA's) have a high rate of abortion becoz they engage in unprotected sex. So they must be told that if they are to break the comandments they must use a condom and not do it and not resolting to have an abortion.

(Phil's response)

The sad truth is that Christians also have a high rate of HIV/AIDS infections. In Arab countries (such as Jordan), the HIV/AIDS infection rate is close to 0%. But the highly concentrated Christian community in sub-Saharan Africa suffers disgracefully. We need to dig deeper into the two religious cultures and figure out why the case is so.

Condoms or Conduct? PART III

Previously, we saw that those who object the teachings of condoms to the unmarried youth fear three things and these are: it may create in them the urge to experiment on them, some may misinterpret the church’s intention and somehow the church’s image may be put to question. Those for the move objected arguing that the church is not encouraging the use of condoms by educating their youth; knowledge of condoms cannot change behaviour and promiscuity is not just sexual intercourse but kissing, petting and the whole package.

The problem is “how” to remain in good conduct

I personally think that the whole condom/conduct controversy still exists because the Church has somehow failed on her part. We shouldn’t worry about condoms if people can conduct themselves well. The Church has focused on telling the youth to choose conduct instead of condoms but the Church has failed to teach the youth “how”. Yes, we opt for conduct but the question is how. And in such cases where the church has failed to setup counseling programs for their young people in relationships and youthful activities (games, outings, sports, evangelism, community service) that should keep the young people busy and focused, I wouldn’t object anyone who would stand up and teach the young people on the use of condoms – not with any intentions to encourage them to use them but rather with the intention to protect them.

Pre-marital Sex Unbiblical

I’m not really pro-condoms. Firstly, it’s because most of them are only 97% safe. Secondly, I believe they’re main use should be within the marriage where they function as contraceptives for birth control – and not STI prevention. This, I argue assuming both partners are faithful to each other and their God.

Extra and pre-marital sex is condemned Biblically left, right and centre. Paul tells us in 1 Thessalonians 4:3, “For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you should abstain from sexual immorality”. So, you may now ask me, “Doc Phil, if premarital sex is wrong and a couple happens to find themselves in a compromising situation, shouldn’t they use condoms?”

We’ve all probably heard of that famous expression, “burn out of passion”. We find it in 1 Cor 7:1-9 where Paul encourages young people to get married should they fail or struggle to exercise “self-control”. Paul, acknowledges the fact that two young people emotionally-involved may find themselves in compromising setup. Even if they don’t, as we stated earlier, according to Mat 5:28, lust is sexual immorality. They may not necessarily become sexually involved but if they lust for each other, they sin. Paul acknowledges this fact or possibility and rather, encourages these two young people sexually attracted to one another to get married a.s.a.p. Paul, in other words, prefers premature weddings to premarital sex. It is on these premises that I will build my arguments on the subject of condoms.

Marriage is still honourable

“Marriage is honourable above all things” (Heb 13:4). The problem with most of us today is that we’ve made our careers, our education, our businesses, our cars, our houses and our family affairs more important than marriage. Somehow, we’ve forgotten the sanctity of marriage. One commentator on my blog stated clearly that if you find yourselves “burning out of passion”, get married. It’s not time to discuss whether or not to use a condom. The problem with our society is that we’ve majored in minors. We’ve prioritized the tangibles, which perish instead of godliness which lasts forever. Marriage, in its sanctity, whether premature or timely, will protect the two individuals from the wrath of God.

I look at many young people who wish to marry but who are facing different socio-economic challenges. There’s the young man who’s been told that he cannot marry the lady whom he loves because he doesn’t have enough cash to pay for her lobola (dowry or mahali). Then there’s the young lady whose parents won’t support her postgrad education if she decides to get married. The poor young fellows have to sit back, burn with passion, but wait until their families give them the green light. I think its about time that the society, especially the church community changes the way we look at things. The pressing factor for getting married is passion (1Cor 7:9) and nothing is more honourable than marriage (Heb 13:4). He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the LORD – Proverbs 18:22.

Condoms or Conduct? PART II

Some of you are wondering where this discussion started. Well, someone just popped the question after a nice Sabbath lunch with a group of young people. Immediately, the group was polarized – some for while others against the motion that the church teaches her unmarried young people on the use of condoms. I believe you’re all thinking… and what do you (Doc Phil) think about it!? Well, just hang in there… I’ll tell you right at the end of this post.

Those who were against the motion argued that if the church teaches the young unmarried youth on the use of condoms the following may happen:

1. Urge to Experiment

There was a general concern that some young people may see the green light to actually go and experiment on the use of condoms. Somehow, this will promote promiscuity. This may occur mostly with teenagers.

2. Misunderstanding Church’s intent

Some may misunderstand or misinterpret the Church’s intent. They may think that the Church is educating them on condoms “just in case they’re tempted to fall”.

3. Church image at stake

Naturally, people may not see this move positively. It may appear as if the church is promoting “sin” by teaching their young people on the use of condoms.

Those who were for the motion objected those who were against it by arguing that:

1. Education and Encouragement are two different things

Educating young people on the use of condoms is not the same thing as Encouraging them to use them. There are many people we know who are educated on contraceptives etc but they are not involved sexually.

2. The knowledge of condoms cannot change behaviour

People’s behaviour can hardly be influenced by knowledge. Sexually active youth will persist thus whether they are educated or not. The Church has not taught her youth on the use of condoms in sub-Saharan Africa yet the high HIV/AIDS stats (even within the church) suggest a sexually active youth.

3. Promiscuity is not just sexual intercourse

Promiscuity begins with the thought according to Matt 5:28. The church may decide not to teach her youth on the use of condoms but if they’re busy lusting one for another, they’re still committing adultery.

I have basically summarized the arguments that these young people had brought up. I agree and disagree with both sides in certain points. These together with my conclusion will be discussed in my second and hopefully, last post on this particular subject.